Christened by JP II

This picture was taken on September, 30^th 2006. It was the day American snowboarding team Forum came to Moscow to present their new (for that time) video THAT. It was also the day of my professional christening and the day I met JP Walker. The JP Walker.

I was eighteen years old – young and pretentious journalist, with big ambitions and no experience of working with the camera whatsoever. And, to be honest, I was not quite ready for all that valuable experience, which was about to fall on me from the above… That day, early in the morning I’ve received a phone call from my boss. He told me that I have a private press conference to attend in less than seven hours. Apparently, one of American best snowboard teams was coming over to present their new movie. Unfortunately, my boss was in a hurry, so all the crucial details and necessary specifications, such as the name of the team or at least the name of the movie, were spared.

The big show had started from the moment I’ve entered the headquarters of the Gameland Publishing House, were the press conference was being held. I’m not quite sure what exactly was bothering me more – the fact that it was my first real journalistic assignment or the fact that I was as unprepared for it as I could possibly be. I’ve decided to calm myself down by consuming disturbing amount of chocolates at the buffet table. Right at the moment when I was silently chocking on my third chocolate truffle, a stranger approached me. His face had very sharp features, and his massive chin hypnotized me for a second. Some people tend to say that heavy, distinguished chin is a sign of strong and decisive personality. I, on the other hand, have simply assumed that the person had way too many surgeries on his face. And, as it turned out later, I wasn’t far from truth.

- “Hey, what’s up? My name is JP” – he said. Since his name did not ring any bells in my head I’ve responded with a simple “Oh, you’re one of those…”. After introducing myself I’ve explained that I am presenting “Russian Extreme” tv-channel, and that he and his teammates Pat Moore, Joni Malmi and the winner of FORUM Youngblood contest Kareem El Rafie are going to have the joy of working with me and my crew after the press conference. By the way, I am absolutely convinced that name tags and placards are the best and most useful inventions in the history of mankind since the invention of the wheel.

The goal of my crew was to film the conference, the premiere and the after party, in order to make a full 26-minute special story on FORUM for our weekly program “The Premieres”. My job was to do the interviews and a couple of short stand-ups, under thirty seconds each. After talking for ten minutes with JP I’ve noticed some movement in the room – people were setting up the cameras, reporters from OnBoard, Hooligan, Xtreme and many other snowboard-oriented magazines were taking their seats. For unknown reasons I was seated in the first row, which made me immediately cancel the idea of hiding somewhere between the rows, behind broad backs of my more experienced colleagues.

The press conference officially started, but my boss, who was supposed to arrive half an hour ago, was still missing, which basically meant that I had to start improvising. Somehow that short conversation JP and I had earlier had boosted my confidence, and I have decided to participate in the conference by asking a question. As soon as I heard a lady in the third row making a feeble attempt to form a question in broken English, I’ve realized that it is a perfect opportunity for me to show off my language skills in front of the public. But all typical questions were supposed to be asked during the private interviews, which were set up separately. Asking the same question during the press conference and then later during an interview did not seem to be a good idea even for such an amateur as me. The only way I could have avoided repeating myself was by asking something which did not really had anything to do with snowboarding, their team or the movie. After a few minutes of titanic efforts to come up with something witty and creative, I gave up and decided to ask how the team is planning to spend their spare time in Moscow, knowing from the conversation with JP that it was the first visit to Russia for all four of them.

I realize that I might sound like a mentally challenged person, but even now, two and a half years later, I still do not understand what exactly went wrong at that point and most importantly why. After raising my hand politely and standing up I suddenly felt like my mind just drew a big blank. A beautiful and creative question, which was formed with the consideration of all necessary grammatical constructions of English language, disappeared from my head. Now that I think about it, that scene would have looked perfectly in slow motion… I look around the room in complete and rather tragic silence, than I take a deep breath and go: “Guys, what are your plans for tonight?”

The reaction of the public on my inadequate behavior was very diverse. Joni Malmi, who was fighting with a severe hangover all afternoon, had raised his eyebrows. Pat Moore and Kareem El Rafie looked at each other, suppressing laughter. The interpreter, who, as I suspect, did not like me from the start, immediately translated my glorious improvisation, putting it in the lamest terms possible: “For those who did not understand, the question was about the plans for the evening”. The quickest and wittiest comeback I’ve received was, of course, from JP. He smiled, exposing all 32 of his brand new teeth (after shattering his jaw completely in snow park Solitude, Utah, JP had to have several dental surgeries), grabbed the microphone and answered my question with another question: “That depends. What are yours?”.

After his response I got fully aware of the fact that I just hit on four men simultaneously, in front of a rather big audience and five different TV-channels, including the one I work for. For the rest of press conference I was sitting in complete silence, calculating the chances that the story of my disgrace would never leave that room.

Individual interviews went much smoother than the conference itself, thanks to Mr. Walker. While the cameraman Vitalik was setting up the equipment, I was attaching the microphone to rider’s shirt with trembling hands. JP, as the incarnation of ultimate confidence and serenity, was standing absolutely still. I guess something in my attitude gave away the fact that I’ve obviously have no idea what I am doing. The icon of snowboarding started whispering from the corner of his mouth: “Relax. At first, ask me how my season went and which locations have I visited recently. Then ask about the movie. I will talk about it for a while, and then ask me about our team’s plans for foreseeable future”. That was the most bizarre and tragic situation in the history of journalism – a star himself suggests which questions a journalist should ask! I prefer to consider that embarrassing memory a valuable professional experience.